I've been making a yummy concotion lately. Thought I'd share it for other hot chai fiends like myself. You can, of course, go buy the liquid chai mix that many coffeeshops use at Whole Foods and even some regular grocery stores. But the box costs almost $5 and doesn't last long.
Fill your mug about 1/3 with milk (best if whole milk) and the rest water.
Put a cinnamon stick on the bottom. (Stick can be reused.)
Add sugar. (If you actually want it to taste like it does in the coffeehouses, be generous.)
Put in chai tea bag (recommend Celestial Seasons- the taste is WAY better than others I have tried). I generally leave the bag in even while drinking- to make sure you get a good, full chai taste.
Heat it for like 2 min. You want it to boil so that the milk has that same coffeehouse steamed thing going on. It's important to have the cinnamon stick in there while heating as well. Shaking cinnamon on the top doesn't work because it doesn't mix.
Another thing to add is just a tablespoon or less of hot cocoa mix or Nestle Quik. You don't want an overwhelming chocolate taste or you might as well just make cocoa.
Anyway. Probably a dumb thing to share, but I love that I can make these at home whenever I want them. And most chai is decaf so it doesn't hurt to drink them late at night.
That's what I did first thing this morning. Nice to get out and get some good physical labor in. Work up an appetite and all. And just as my brother-in-law and I finished, my dad finally came home from the hospital.
Four nights. Certainly the shittiest Thanksgiving I have had. But I don't at all delude myself that it couldn't have been worse.
Every time we thought everything was going well and he was on the mend, he'd have another episode of tightness in the chest and numbness in his arm. The EKGs kept coming back okay though. It was really frustrating and scary. They finally put a third stent in on only a 60% blockage, just to make sure they had all the bases covered.
I know I missed the worst of it. The episode after the first angiogram where his heart rate dropped to 20 and they brought the crash cart in... I think it scarred my oldest sister who was in the room and had to have a nurse put on her because she was hysterical.
And now what? Well, for one thing, I start learning a lot about how to run ByRon as I help him out. But beyond that, I don't know.
Oh but I did get some turkey. On Thursday, my eldest sister had a makeshift dinner that my middle sister and I attended. And today we did make the full-blown meal. There was a lot to be thankful for.
I'm too tired to write much now. Over the last few days I have wanted to write about several things like my last night at work and wandering in the city again yesterday and moving home etc. But now nothing really seems to matter.
I didn't know if I really wanted to blog about all this, but I know some good friends who know my family also read this. Anyway...
Yesterday afternoon, my dad had a heart attack. It wasn't terribly severe, but his tests this morning showed two major blockages. They put in two stents, which is a relatively routine procedure. But then he had another episode. They thought it was another heart attack because his heart rate dropped to 20 beats per minute and he was in a lot of pain, but tests showed that there was no further damage to the heart. Still, his wound from the earlier procedure tore open and there was some internal bleeding. He's been in ICU ever since. It took a long while to stabalize him on medications, but he seems to be able to rest now.
It feels strangely providential that I was moving home today anyway. Now, I don't care much about my plans. I will be here as long as I need to be. Someone has to run ByRon. At the very least, he's gonna have to take it easy for a while.
I'm keeping it together pretty well. In fact, I was the one making all the calls today. I somehow manage to keep it together in crisis. Mom says it's my PR training. I don't know what to think. In fact, my brain isn't working well at all.
I feel fairly positive still. My father's ministry is too great for it to be done. And if David Letterman can have a quadruple bypass and still star in his own TV show every night...
Well anyway. Please just keep my dad and family in your prayers.
Thursday, I went to the Smart Museum, the Spertus Museum, the Museum of Contemporary Photography and the Harold Washington Public Library - because it's really big. I suppose these things, while in the tour book, are a little off the beaten path. My friend Joe who grew up here hadn't even heard of the first three. None of it was extraordinary, but all very interesting. I'm glad I am taking the time to see a little more of the city. It was cool to be in the University of Chicago area, and I really liked a couple paintings they had at the Smart Museum. The children's area in the Spertus was very cool, and I got to see a picture of the boat Exodus at the end of the Holocaust exhibit, for those who know what that is. The Vietnam photo exhibit at MOCP was very interesting and enlightening.
I also ate lunch at a place called the Firehouse and dinner at Grace O'Malleys (for those who know the significance of that). Most importantly, I not only attended, but borrowed a guitar and played at an open mike at a place called Gourmand Coffeehouse. I'm really glad I squeezed in playing out. It meant a lot to me. The place was cool and the crowd decent. It was a good experience.
Now though, I am running late for my last night at work. Just wanted to get in a few words.
Yesterday began with a family trip to Shedd Aquarium. It was surprisingly uncrowded for the free day. Three adults on three kids - and all hands were needed. But we all enjoyed it. I paid the extra amount to go to the Oceanarium after the fam left. I don't know if it was worth it entirely, but I still enjoyed myself. The Beluga whales were cool. But the St. Louis Zoo's penguins are WAY cooler. They didn't have puffins. And they were all behind glass. The dolphins were beautiful, but the show wasn't much of a show.
Next I headed to the Field Museum. I spent an hour and a half in the special Pompeii exhibit, which was actually more about Herculaneum, the resort city across the way from Pompeii. Here's a couple interesting facts. The day before Vesuvius erupted was August 23, 79 A.D. The people of Pompeii were in the streets celebrating the god of fire. Dumb. On the 24th, most of them choked to death on the ash that filled the air. Across the way, the people of Herculaneum thought they would be okay, but were gathering their things to flee anyway. At 1 a.m. on on the 25th, a pyroclastic surge overtook the city. This is essentially a 1000-degree cloud of gas and rock fragments that incinerated the people instantly leaving perfectly perserved skeletons. Over 300 bodies have been discovered since 1980. I found it interesting seeing this glimpse of Roman life, just 9 years after the Temple was destroyed. Just to link it to another historical event. That'd be the one in Jerusalem, for those who don't know how my brain works.
I meandered through the "stuffed animals." The man-eating lions that inspired the movie Ghost in the Darkness weren't as big and scarey as I expected. The gem room was pretty. I'm such a snob about the Egyptian stuff. After seeing Karnak, Abul Simbel and the Valley of the Kings - after descending into the depths of the small pyramid, and seeing the mummy of Ramses II at the museum in Cairo. Shoot, even the Egyptian display at the history museum in London. I'm a snob. Wish I had gotten through more of the American Indian stuff before the place closed though.
After that I drove up to the Lush on Armitage and walked around the area. I treated myself to dinner at an Irish pub. Cider and Shepherd's Pie. Mm. Reminded me of Dublin.
I might head into the city again tomorrow. Sadly though, I think I will have to come back if I want to see Wicked.
Despite my last entry, my head is screwed on correctly. I think. Unless it never was.
Doubts are natural. Afterall, I am making this up as I go.
I gave notice to my job on Sunday that I would be gone after next weekend (this weekend). I'd been warned that they may not put me on the schedule at all after that. Just the way the industry is. I'd hoped they wouldn't so that I'd have one full weekend in Chicago. But it's not to be. I work on Friday and Saturday. Yuck. At least they are the best money days. And I will be able to say with certainty throughout the madness that it's almost over.
It feels good to have that done at least. I was a bit panicked about giving notice because I haven't quit many jobs. And because I do have some doubts. But I believe putting it behind me and moving onto phase two is what I need to do.
At the very least, I am going home to regroup. But my dream of living out of the country remains.
I have so much and so little to say. I've been wanting to write about some of the movies I have seen, but haven't made the time. This week was fairly low key and the details are sure to bore.
I'm pretty mixed up in the head. My time here is coming to a rapid close. I can't wait to not have to battle the sound of the kids in the morning while I sleep. Yet I know that I will miss the children when I am gone. I know that I have disliked my job all along. Again last night, I only made it through by thinking it was all almost over. Yet I was getting a bit better and the money was good. I've met nice people, and it feels weird to walk away.
I haven't tried as hard here as I could have. But I have been dealing with a lot of hard changes, and I've done my best. If I was actually moving to Chicago, it'd probably take a year to find the job I wanted, the apartment I wanted and the friends I wanted. That's normal. But even though staying here was never the plan, I regret not having seen more and met more people.
I had a difficult but wonderful lunch with one of my college best friends yesterday. Wonderful to see her and have someone to talk to. But she made me think about a lot of things too. What DO I want? Do I want to live in another country? Or do I just want a new scene? I do like the career I was in, but should I continue with it now or continue with this adventure?
I feel really disgusted with myself actually. Why do I make everything so difficult? Why do I feel everthing so sharply and agonize over it so? I wish I was a more simple person. Not that I can't enjoy life's simple pleasures, but I also tend to seek out more. Is that a good or a bad thing? I wish I was a person who could get up in the morning and go to work and do her thing. Come home and stay in or go out and be content with it.
Content. That's the word. Or the goal. It's not always a matter of being unhappy. There are too many joys in the world for that. But being content for any length of time - that's different, isn't it?
I just can't seem to deal with the fact that no one is going to come down from the clouds and say, "Kristen, this is what you need to do." Or, "You ARE on the right path." Just like everyone else in the world, I have no one but myself to make a final decision. I need to get better (A LOT better) at making decisions and not looking back. Now, I analyze every detail and make myself miserable. It's no one's fault but my own and I know it.
But somehow, I need to keep moving forward don't I?
At least once every weekend (and I've worked every weekend), someone tells me (or I overhear), "you have (she has) the worst job in the world". At least once. When I realized this on the way home tonight, I smirked. It does. It sucks. They're always referring to how hard it is to push through the crowd all night with trays. It takes so so so much patience and luck. But you know, everyone has their own thing. I'm pretty sure this isn't mine, but some of the people there are really good, and they make a shitload of money.
But I tell you what (and anyone else who's worked in the industry will agree), I will never tip the same again. Before when I went out, I think I felt the tip was more of a nuisance. Something I was annoyingly obligated to do. Now, my perspective is that before you ever leave the house, you know that tipping is part of the expected price of your evening out. If that means considering that fact before you order more drinks, so be it.
I'll tell you another thing. If you tip well, it will be known. Oftentimes, not only by those that you have tipped well before, but also by their coworkers. When a another waitress sees a big tipper in my section, she lets me know. "Take care of them, they tip well." A bartender even told me one night, "that guy over there in the yellow hat..." And my boss has come up to me, more often to tell me the patrons are important and I better take care of them well, but also mentioning if they are generous. I'd at least recommend doing this at your favorite and most frequented establishment.
Just a word to the wise. Kudos if you know it already. I didn't.
I asked the guy working the merchandise booth if he realized that the above slogan, which adorned most of the t-shirts, actually referred to a traditional Hawaiian dish. It's a yogurty substance with no taste. It's purple and I think it's made from seaweed or something. He laughed and said he had tried it when he visited the islands, and we agreed that it was pretty unremarkable.
So I did get to work the concert, though I didn't make a lot of money. And it was so packed that I couldn't see the band perform really. But I did get to meet several of them. Only really talked to the drummer John (they call him el John) though, and he was giving me music career advice. He even wanted one of my CDs. I need to start keeping one in my purse at all times dammit! Dammit dammit!
The mother of the owner of my bar cooked them a homemade gourmet dinner. That was cool.
But the coolest was when my boss let me get on the bar and dance for the last song! A couple of the bartenders had done it earlier. This is NOT a practice at my bar. Not even remotely. But they'd brought back some retired bartenders for the event and they decided to have fun I guess. I was giggling at them and my boss says "You can get up there too." It took me 2 seconds to vault onto the bar. The song was an old one of theirs called "Complicated" from the one CD of theirs I really know. Did I mention that I saw them perform nine years ago at the Blue Note when I was a freshman in college? Anyway, that was a blast. Not likely to ever happen again.
I really like Johannes Linstead's Mediterranea album. It's just something I checked out of the library. Kind of a hispanic guitar and violin. So it's chill music, but it's exciting too. Or entertaining. I'm not sure. Certainly perfect dinner music, but something I like to listen to while driving as well.
The Legend of Zorro is campy but definitely entertaining. I think Zorro needs to be a little campy, doesn't it? No, not as good as the first movie. And as a lover of all things Antonio, I'll tell you that I am not taking his aging well at all. And what costume designer gave him that haircut for a two-hour film? But the cameraman is sure talented at catching Catherine Zeta Jones' "I'm beautiful" dreamy look. And I liked the kid. He was good.
I'm now working on three new songs. Zygotes of songs as Ani might say. The first has one verse of lyrics and accompanying melody and chords. One has all the lyrics written with nothing else. One has the beginning of some lyrics and a couple chords and melody lines. The first one I started a couple months ago. I hope I can finish them! Some don't ever make it. But at least I am working on something.
I waitress long nights tonight and tomorrow. Poi Dog Pondering is playing at Frankie's and I hope I am working the concert. It's been sold out for a couple weeks though and will likely be crazy. Hopefully, I'll make some money to make the long hours worthwhile. You just never know. My biggest issue in life right now is trying to decide when and how to quit this job.
My sister and family are visiting my parents this weekend so I have the place to myself. I'll mostly be sleeping, but at least I can do so in peace.
I parked in the Grant North Garage and started walking south on Michigan past the art museum. I didn't get far, just kitty corner steps away before the magnatism drew me in. I love art museums. And Tuesdays are free. I didn't think I would go because it's the place I have been most recently. But I love it. Just couldn't walk by. I love going to art museums and wandering alone, often with the little audio guides you can rent. Here though, the audio guide gives only an overview of each gallery you walk into. In St. Louis and at the Met, you can type in the number on a specific painting. So I passed. Instead I listened to myPod. It was like walking in a movie.
I attempted to follow the map to places I was interested in, but quickly gave in to an uncalculated perusal. I like to get up close to paintings I like and study the brush strokes. Imagine what the painter and the painted were thinking. Feel as though I am walking in that era. It's really an extension of my fascination with history. I spent more time than usual in the late medeival and renaissance, trying to get a feel for the eras I read about, but there wasn't much early medieval. I was quite disappointed in the arms and armory as it didn't go much before 1400. I guess you have to go to Europe for the old stuff.
I spent the longest time at "The Old Guitarist" by Picasso. It's one of my favorite paintings. I've had a framed copy in my bedroom for years. I know it's a popular one. I don't know why others love it, but to me it speaks of a meloncholy passion. A place to turn when the body is frail, the mind is weakening and the pain is too real to siphon in any other way. Or something like that. I stood there long enough for people to think I was weird. I'd have pulled up a chair if I could.
From the museum I headed to Buckingham Fountain, which I honestly think was turned off like that day. I had just seen it on when I went to Navy Pier, so I think it may have been a Nov. 1 thing. I had a fabulous lunch in a corner cafe in the Santa Fe building. Then up to Millenium Park, which was cool but not as impressive as I'd been led to believe. So you know what IS impressive? The trees! I thought the peak had passed, but the beauty is still so intense.
Jumped on the Red Line and hopped off at Belmont for a couple good hours of second-hand clothes shopping.
Had a fabulous sushi dinner at Kamehachi with my friend Joe. Ended with a sinful chocolate cake and the bottom of a fancy, strong rasberry lemonade drink in a martini class. Bliss.
It was a really good day.