Wednesday, August 30, 2006
i got published
So remember all those books you were supposed to read as a kid but didn’t? Well, I finally got around to reading them and wrote about the experience for a friend’s online magazine. So everyone go read about Judy Blume and Roald Dahl and admire this picture of me at the age of eight as Glinda, the Good Witch of the North in a production of the Wizard of Oz.
Monday, August 28, 2006
yeah office!
For those of you who didn’t watch the Emmys yesterday, my favorite show The Office won for best comedy. Yeah!!!! The Emmys were great overall and Conan O’Brien was an awesome host. I also loved his intro including this Office gem. “No, I did not have Conan O’Brien fall from the ceiling.”
these people are idiots
Apparently, the kids today have been so coddled that they get to college and freak the hell out. So if you look below, there is an IU article about kids getting drunk and going to the hospital before classes start. Oh, that’s still going on and it gets more amusing each time.
“Five students, including four freshmen, were arrested and sent to Bloomington Hospital for alcohol intoxication this weekend, bringing the total number of alcohol-related student hospitalizations to 14 since Wednesday.
.....
“Among the hospitalized students were: a male student found lying in the parking lot behind Kilroy’s Bar & Grill; a male freshman found unconscious at Teter Quad early Sunday morning; a male freshman found unconscious at McNutt Quad early Sunday morning; and a student who re-injured his shoulder after consuming alcohol while on pain medication for the shoulder.”
Friday, August 25, 2006
stupid freshmen
Not only are the students back on campus—blech!—but they’re drinking up a storm. Look, I know my salary is paid by the kids who are here, but they’re idiots. Six—SIX!—kids were sent to the hospital on Wednesday night alone for intoxication. All you need to read is the below paragraph that sums up each of their incidents.
“Among the students taken to the hospital were: a male student who was found by an IU police officer ‘asleep’ in the Institute for Social Research wearing only his boxer shorts; an 18-year-old female student who was taken by ambulance after she vomited in the lobby of Eigenmann Hall; and a male student who police found unconscious in the front lawn of Phi Mu sorority. Additionally, a 19-year-old male student was arrested and hospitalized after stumbling through traffic on Indiana Avenue. Officers also responded to calls of dangerously intoxicated students at Foster-Gresham Dining Hall, McNutt Quad and Alpha Omicron Pi sorority.”
Yes, a male student on the lawn of a sorority. Total sexual identity issues. And just to let you all know, my sister lived in Eigenmann Hall her freshman year but I doubt she ever puked in the lobby. I’m not totally sure about that, she may have to confirm it, but I doubt it.
chicken noodle soup
It’s tasty, it’s delicious, and it’s apparently the next dance craze in this country. Seriously? There’s a dance craze called Chicken Noodle Soup. The link with take you to YouTube.com just because I needed to show you video evidence that I am not making this up.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
who loves ya baby
So earlier this week I mentioned geeking out because Joey Lawrence was going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Apparently, they’ve replaced Joey with Telly Savalas. Who knew Kojak liked ballroom dancing?
Dude, the bald thing is such a bad idea. Everyone loved you for your hair! Ugh. If you want to see the rest of the carnage including Tucker Carlson and Jerry Springer in sequins and Mario Lopez wearing some stupid looking tank top click here for the Oh No They Didn’t thread.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
every child’s behind is getting big
I knew that supporting Republicans was bad for your health. Turns out Bush’s No Child Left Behind puts so much emphasis on academics that kids are getting fat. Now, I didn’t go to PE everyday but I went a few times a week at least. I mean, I’m all for smart kids, but what’s the point if you’re a rocket scientist and die of a heart attack at age 40? Of course, this does come with the cavaet that it’s not just the cuts in physical activity, but also what kids are eating today and how they spend their free time. And for adults, geez, leaving New York City was a bad bad bad thing for my waist line. All of a sudden, I stopped walking and the pounds added up so I’ve had to supplement with the gym. Headed there today—30 minutes on the elliptical followed by another 30 minutes walking the track.
Monday, August 21, 2006
mmm….cupcakes
A mile away from my parents’ house is a new cupcake bakery. Can I just say I am extremely jealous? The best cupcake place in all of the world is Magnolia Bakery, which even received a shout-out on Saturday Night Live last year. The cake is fine but that frosting? Oh sweet dessert heaven! So anyway, apparently downtown Birmingham is now as trendy as New York City. Yeah! I say if you’re going to pick a trend to follow, cupcakes are a good trend. Let’s just hope Birmingham doesn’t start smelling like stale urine. Bad trend.
shows i won’t be watching
So I was actually looking forward to the new show 30 Rock on NBC. Until, apparently, the network replaced funny but dowdy Rachel Dratch for that really annoying but attractive Jane Krakowski from Ally McBeal. Ugh. That show went from being hopeful to not lasting more than 12 episodes. Sometimes NBC can be smart—like when they stood behind The Office, which is now a big hit for them. But sometimes NBC can be a bunch of total wankin’ idiots.
So speaking of which, what new shows are you looking forward to this year? I’m partial to Studio 60 right now. We’ll see how long that lasts.
Friday, August 18, 2006
grilled iguana…yum
I don’t know if this is a horribly bad lede or a horribly good lede. Decide for yourselves.
“BEAVERTON—Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, but it set fire to an apartment and may have incinerated Ozzy the iguana.”
You can find the full story here. The cat had to be revived with oxygen. The iguana is still missing.