Tuesday, December 20, 2005
my Christmas list
When I worked for the college paper, we would all post our Christmas wish lists in the office in December. These were not like some serious Amazon.com list, but rather a funny and more idealistic take on what we wanted this year. And so in the spirit of The Maneater offices, I give you my Christmas list for 2005.
When Michael Jackson loses his control of The Beatles catalog next week because he can’t pay the debt he has, make sure it falls into the hands of someone who won’t abuse it. Respect the music! [Side note: If you are a music artist and you ever get offered a contract, make sure you take less money in exchange for being able to control ALL copyrights to your songs. It’s totally worth having less money in exchange for control of your work.]
More time with my sweet husband, less time with my business-school studying husband.
Get the transit workers to stop striking in NYC by Dec. 28 [that’s when I get there]. Dude, you don’t have a college degree, you get paid more than I ever did when your entire job entails spraying platforms down with water and you want an 8% pay raise for each of the next three year. Don’t we all. Get back to work!
Magical powers like the ones Harry Potter has. I would particularly like to be able to apperate, which would be very handy if the MTA strike continues. Also, I would like to note that while I get magic powers, I don’t want to be No. 1 on the hit list of He Who Must Not Be Named.
All major music executives need to be fired, especially the guy who signed Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. Then, they have to get rid of the whole nouveau payola scheme with the radio stations so radio starts to play real music again. THEN, every 15-year-old is going to be forced to listen to Franz Ferdinand, Wolf Parade, The Go! Team, and Morrissey. It’s for their own good.
Nick Lachey needs to win lots of money in his divorce with Jessica Simpson and Jessica has to come out of it looking like the big spoiled brat she really is. Oh, and that svengali manager/dad of hers needs to somehow be punished for being a jerk and really skanky. And when Jessica sinks, I want her to take her no-talent annoying sister with her. Go Team Nick!
A new Ford Mustang with front wheel drive so I can drive it in the snow.
Can I have another wedding? That was a lot of fun.
A bus needs to hit Paris Hilton. Doesn’t have to necessarily kill her, just maim her enough that will cause the world to not care about that stupid trust fund baby anymore. Please.
An end to the war in Iraq, the impeachment of Dubya for spying on me, and the legalization of gay marriage. In that order.
Bill O’Reilly will be fired when it is revealed that his Christmas cards actually said “Happy Holidays!” on the inside.
The reduction of desperate poverty and AIDS in Africa.
The end of reality television shows. Project Runway on Bravo can stay.
A Tivo so I don’t miss another episode of the final season of Alias, particularly one in which both DeadVaughn and SpyMommy show up and I’m too busy doing something else to remember to tape it.
Winning the family’s NFL pool so I can have bragging rights.
thanks for reminding me about these lists. i’d completely forgotten about them. we should make them into a beanbagcentral christmas tradition!
my list’s tracked below.Posted by c2 on 12/20 at 01:01 PM
peace on earth, homes for puppies, and an end to incompetence. seriously, nothing drive my blood pressure up like people who can’t get it together. now when it’s my fault, well, give me the grace to appologize before the person officially hates me, instead of just finding me spoiled and annoying (when I am, in fact, neither).Posted by sis on 12/20 at 05:07 PM
Great list. I’ll have to give it some thought and post the list after I actually get more sleep—insomnia to fade away will be on there.Posted by C on 12/21 at 03:31 AM
That was way to funny. Jenny...the sort of, kind of liberal. I had no idea. It was Bono wasn’t it?Posted by Michelle on 01/06 at 10:43 AM
- Dear Santa
Jenny just blogged an entry on the old Maneater tradition of posting idealistic and humorous "Dear Santa" Christmas wish lists in the office. Yowza. It's been about eight years since I even thought of those. It's funny, for me, how one of those list items actually came true—"I want a Cosas-dot-com website"—if not in the exact incarnation I imagined it. And then, well, other things like "Five minutes in a closet with Tori Amos" and "The…Tracked on: c is for... (18.104.22.168) at 2005 12 20 12:26:49